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about

I wrote this one on a dare.

lyrics

I took my tractor
And I took my roomba
And I took my screwdriver
And went out to the back

With my husband waiting upstairs
Playing Xbox
He won’t miss the screwdriver
He won’t know I’m not back

I tried, though
I tried to make a robot
I tried to make a robot
A robot
But

Halfway through the bourbon
When I turned the keys
And started up the tractor
With the roomba parts inside

And my smartphone open
Showing Wikipedia’s
Page for “robotics”
There was nowhere I could hide

When that tractor
That old and rusty tractor
That old familiar tractor
That tractor

My…

I tightened a screw
Its part skipped a beat
I took off my gloves
And put my hands upon the steering wheel
So I could feel it close to me

It started to move
I went for a ride
And somehow I knew what it felt inside
And it was more than I could have ever dreamed of
I thought I built a robot, but
That tractor learned how to love

I took that tractor
And we roamed our fields
And then he said he loved me
With the blinking of his eyes

And we woke my family
And we woke my neighbors
And they saw that tractor
And they blinked back in surprise

They said “Darling
You know you built a monster
What’s worse, a sentient monster
A monster!”

And then that tractor said “I’m not a monster
And this girl is mine.
We belong together;
Yes, our hearts have gone through the combine.”

At least that’s what I think he said
I may have been distracted
By the way the people looked at me
And the way the crowd reacted
To my tractor!

[INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]

When they took my tractor
I might have gone insane
I mean just for a moment
But I guess that’s all it takes.

Now I take the pills
Because they take the pain
Because they make me take them
I guess that everyone makes mistakes.

I’ll rebuild him
Someday I will rebuild him
Some way I will rebuild him
Rebuild…

I will buy a tractor
And I’ll buy a roomba
And I’ll buy a screwdriver
And go out to the back.

With my children playing upstairs
Making messes
They won’t miss their dinner
They don’t know I won’t come back

‘Cause I love him
And though I must remake him
I know that he’ll still love me
He’ll love me
He’ll love me
He’ll love me
And we’ll be together forever
Just me and my tractor

‘Cause I tightened a screw
It’s part skipped a beat
I took off my gloves
And put my hands upon the steering wheel
So I could feel it close to me

It started to move
We went for a ride
And somehow I knew what it felt inside
And it was more than I could have ever dreamed of
I thought I built a robot, but
That tractor learned how to love

credits

from Hello, The Future! Gets Her Filk On At Philcon, released January 1, 2012

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Hello, The Future! Seattle, Washington

My name is Nicole.

My band is Hello, The Future!

I am the only person in my band.

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