I had a home and family once
And then the home and family left

They gave me promises a mile long but one by one they
Took them all away

To pack a suitcase
And leave the one place that I knew

I left the waterfall and the woods and the air and the mountains all behind
I left my family and I left you and I left all of us as pictures in my mind

I kept your token that I thought would carry me back
Anytime I liked

I’d twist and turn the wooden bead and I would tell myself
That someday I would return

I’d be Johanna again
And I would see you one more time if I could win

But that was years ago and a wooden bead is a foolish thing to carry in your hand
I had to let it go and I know you’re gone I know you’re gone I hope you understand

Even though the screams still
Echo in my ears
I know someday I’ll sleep
Even though the trees
Are burned now to the ground
The memories will keep

Maybe in a year
I’ll think of you again
Make stories in my head
But just for today
I’ll put the picture down
There’s work to do instead
And no one left to love

That day they drew my name
They dressed me up
They put me on a train

My family disappeared
But I knew if I won
Then they would have to send me home again

I wouldn’t let them take my mind
I’d disappear somewhere they couldn’t find

And when they rang that gong I had covered up my face
And I had hidden back my eyes

I was a brainless child until I saw my chance
I made my kill and then I got my prize

Even though the screams still
Echo in my ears
I know someday I’ll sleep
Even though the trees
Are burned now to the ground
The memories will keep

Maybe in a year
I’ll think of you again
Make stories in my head
But just for today
I’ll put the picture down
There’s work to do instead
And no one left to love

They told me what I would have to do
They told me the only promises they made
Were the ones they made to other people
They told me—but I said no, I wouldn’t ever let them
Sell me like a toy and I was gone
And I went home
They let me go
I should have stayed
Because you’re gone
And everything destroyed

And when I saw your face and saw your eyes and saw what I had done

I saw the trees I saw the graves I saw my family I saw what I had won

That though I’d given everything to come back home
That from that moment on I’d always be alone

Then I was glad of all I had learned of how to stay alive and how to disappear
I would rebuild, and I would fight, but I’d be gone inside they’d look but wouldn’t find me here

Even though the screams still
Echo in my ears
I know someday I’ll sleep
Even though the trees
Are burned now to the ground
The memories will keep

Maybe in a year
I’ll think of you again
Make stories in my head
But just for today
I’ll put the picture down
There’s work to do instead
And no one left to love