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Giant Robot Album

by Hello, The Future!

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1.
Back in summer camp On the first day they sat us in the picnic yard And they told us that fine arts camp was very hard And that all of us would have to practice very hard And they told us if we wanted to get work someday We couldn’t play our pop music or draw anime Because those things weren’t important in the real world You know that fine arts camp is all about the real world And I’ll never forget They took this one kid’s drawing of a giant robot And they told him to stop wasting his time Get in line Focus on perspective So we practiced hard, and yet We met in secret to perform the Final Fantasy opera We knew they’d say that we were wasting our time Then in undergrad In our classes they told us what was good and bad It was good if it had meaning and was serious And nothing good had been produced that wasn’t serious And they said that every time we made a song or play There should be some deeper meaning as a takeaway So the audience would get up and go stop the war Or decide that social justice was worth fighting for And I’ll never forget The way they denigrated anything reflecting pop culture How they said it was a waste of our time; we should Get in line And focus on perspective But they didn’t seem to get That to make meaning first you have to go and make a connection Otherwise you’ll just be wasting your time I’m not even going to make the old argument About Mozart being part of pop culture Or Dickens being part of pop culture Or Shakespeare being part of pop culture And how it all kinda changed with the friggin’ Rite of Spring And the subsequent decision that art was a very very very very serious thing And it wasn’t for everyone It was cultural broccoli (You know I actually kinda really like broccoli) Then in graduate school When I said in class the internet had changed the rules That the new artistic culture was the internet And that people who made art should use the internet With Web 2.0 It took the job that theater started all those years ago And gave us ways to make connections with an audience There were so many ways for us to reach an audience And I’ll never forget They told me serious performers didn’t use the internet And they told me to stop wasting class time Get in line Focus on perspective And my assignment for next class Was to restage a Restoration play in 1960 And I knew that I was wasting my time We should have been making things from the start We didn’t have to stop drawing those giant robots We should be using all our time To connect the lines And focus on creation And sure, not all of it will be art But the important thing is to make a connection And that means you won’t be wasting your time So here’s to the kid who got his giant robot drawing torn up on the first day of fine arts camp. I hope you kept drawing.
2.
The swan’s name was Ingrid I read that book eleven times Eleven times On Sunday afternoons When I had nothing else to do But sit and memorize the details Of the worlds in which I wish I lived and more than that the authors’ lives that wrote them Oh My World of Balance World of Ruin World of early mornings Getting up to take a fearless dip into the Serpent Trench And afternoons in Arden taking notes of all the words I didn’t know With just two ages down and five more left to go But all those hours stacked like bricks before the person that I wanted to be Time to turn the pages My house was big my world was small so it was waiting for me Maybe I’ll read that book on more time My robot armor I put it on before I left my room My little room The clunky legs and clumsy arms were poorly made But inside was the only thing I thought was true I couldn’t share myself with anyone with any place with anything except the world I made Written in the pages Of the books I read and stories wrote and music that I practiced and played When I had nothing to do but time Back then I thought I read the alethiometer by grace Back in my slanted room with books around me I thought I knew that I already knew enough to be The person I envisioned Hello the future, with me And Anne and Emily and Jane and Jo (like all those heroines a variation on a theme) Instead I got myself a finished book, a guitar, And a dream Instead I got myself a tiny little window On a screen Yes me and everybody else And I heard Crono speak I beat that game eleven times Eleven times The summer I spent clearing plates And thinking I was paying dues And if I studied and applied myself I’d be admired for my thoughts and work and worlds that I’d created from my mind Turned to words on pages All the truth I’d ever learned in secret passages that someday you’d find When you would read my book one more time Back then I thought I read the alethiometer by grace Today I learn to read the alethometer by work The work of a lifetime But I have nothing to do but time
3.
I was not very pretty that year. But I was out of debt So on that nameless Saturday between when Martin died and when Jesus was risen I bought my guitar. I was not very busy that year. I took myself to parks And as I learned They Might Be Giants songs I thought how sad it was that no one could sing them with me And now here we are And I practiced till my fingers cracked And by the time they healed I had a name and an ambition And the whole thing was realer than real It was the person I wished I were And it was the person I wanted to be And it was a way for me to prove That I was worth having someone listen to me And now you do And I’m not Blue anymore And now when people sing along with me They sing about how Every dream we have, if we all work hard, can become our reality If we put on the role The song they sing along with me Is all about the game And how we all can learn the rules and put on different clothes and become who we think we ought to be As we work towards our goal And we cover over all the cracks And we do our best to play We make a name for our ambition And we practice and practice and practice every day I became the person I wished I were And it was the person I thought I should be And it was a way for me to prove That I was worth having someone listen to me And now you do And I’m not Blue anymore It came faster than I could have ever imagined And also not fast enough. I booked shows, I played ships, I stood outside singing The Legend of Zelda to people who don’t fight nerds Every day for a hundred weeks. And yet it wasn’t enough It wasn’t enough It wasn’t enough I always played secondstage. Even in this case I know I seem a bit ambivalent That half-diminished chord Is like a super-secret music joke that I have to explain and now isn’t funny But please understand. For two years I’ve been building this And I know who I am And also know that what I’m doing right now is remarkably making money According to plan And since this plan’s begun to crack I don’t know what I should do To drop the name but keep the ambition Right at the moment when everything’s coming true? It was the person I wished I were And it was the person I thought I should be And I’m not at all sure I’m enough To write a song and have someone listen to me But now you do And I’m not Blue anymore
4.
Paper Cranes 03:24
I spent last night Trying to fold paper cranes To forgive you But I’m really kind of bad at handicrafts And all my cranes turned into Little wads of paper I didn’t even get to the part Where I blew them up with my angry breath And sent them flying about a foot-and-a-half across my room To forgive you I pictured my windowsill Filled with crane after crane after crane after crane after crane. To prove that I was the type who could give and forgive and forget and release all the Pain, I guess But it’s not pain that I’m feeling, it’s more like a thirst for revenge And I really want to text you What happens at the Red Wedding I really really really really really want to ruin your year And I’ve done all the right things Like I deleted you from my twitter I mean I pulled you from the list of people I actually read But I haven’t got to the point where I’ll unfollow you I’m saving that for when you Finally get 10,000 followers Because as soon as you announce it, You’ll only have 9,999 And by then I’ll have a windowsill Filled with crane after crane after crane after crane after crane To prove that I am the type who can give and forgive and forget and never Complain, I guess That you told me you loved me and then told me you’d become bored. And I really want to text you What happens with Tyrion and Shae I really really really really really want to ruin your year But as you know I won’t do any of that Although it would be so easy You can’t unsee a text Which you of all people should know And I’ve spent way too much time Working out if I could spoil Game of Thrones Season 3 In a single text Saving room for the words Now We’re Even I watched the YouTube But I still can’t make my corners fold And I never get my creases very straight And all I’m left with is a Pile of wasted paper I didn’t even get to the part Where I got to try to forgive you Because as it turns out, I can’t make a paper crane To save your life Which means I’ll never have a windowsill Filled with crane after crane after crane after crane after crane. To prove that I am the type who can give and forgive and forget so I have to Explain, I guess Why I wrote you a song as a promise that you’ll never see Me ever try to text you That Sam becomes a f**king slayer I’m not the kind of person who will ever try to ruin your year And that’s forgiveness.
5.
I like coffee I like eggs and I like Brussels Sprouts and beets and also donuts I like coffee I like writing songs and taking walks And hanging out on Twitter Time to get up Time to go to yoga practice Take a shower Drink some coffee I like coffee If I don’t put sugar in my coffee I can have a donut I like robots I like science, I like math And words and nerds and monkeys and robots I like SoBe Lifewater Nutritionally-Enhanced Hydration Beverage I like lentils, I like chickpeas I’m not sure I like rice all that much But I like coffee I like hiding references Inside my songs like Easter eggs Also I like eating eggs! And I like coffee I like you and maybe you like me You wanna get a coffee?
6.
Blue wears jade Because a woman named Rose told her That jade would give her an extra life She didn’t believe it She didn’t believe that it would break before she did But when she tumbled down the stairs the beads all snapped And every year she buys another necklace Blue keeps moon days because A woman named Faith told her that Well, you don’t practice yoga on the full or new moons She didn’t believe it So far removed from science she couldn’t see it But she keeps the faith, and every fourteen days she rests But not of course in savasana (That’s a yoga joke) Blue wears jade After all these years On airplanes Even though she knows there’s no correlation Even though the science doesn’t make sense Even though she’s sure that she knows what’s right Even though she knows that if it worked, then everyone would wear it Well, still she does it And doesn’t know why And when birds fly Blue crosses her legs and makes a wish On a flock of flying birds She doesn’t believe it She knows it’s ridiculous, but somehow she needs it Just a sidewalk pause, an ankle cross, a thought And no, she won’t tell you all what her wish is And Blue prays After all these years On airplanes Even though she knows there’s no correlation And Blue makes jokes because A woman named Deb told her that The most serious people of all were the best at making people laugh She didn’t believe it She had all this depth, she wanted people to feel it But somehow that never worked, So here’s a song instead I hope you liked the verse about the birds Yes Blue wears jade because It’s awfully pretty, and You know, that extra life thing just might be true She doesn’t believe it But it’s part of her story now and it’s too late to leave it And her fourteen broken necklaces are proof Well, at least, I mean, they’re proof of something Even though the science doesn’t make sense Even though she’s sure that she knows what’s right Even though she knows that if it worked, then everyone would wear it Well, still she does it And she’s still alive For now.
7.
This is a story about a woman who loved reality You might know her. The woman who loved reality Only believes in actions You can feel whatever you want But she values what you do And when you say you’re sorry because you wanted to do something She knows you may be sorry but that you didn’t really want to No you didn’t really want to The woman who loved reality reads fiction sometimes But she spends a lot of time exploring gears The woman who loved reality wants you to know She hasn’t been a girl for the past eleven years The woman who loved reality goes to Maker Faires And plays roller derby The woman who loved reality Is taking public transportation To the library while she’s scanning through her phone For all the conversations That she gets to be a part of In the interconnected human network And at the same time while she gets to be left alone She doesn’t mind being alone The woman who loved reality doesn’t believe That the existence of God is a relevant question The woman who loved reality wants you to know That the size of her body isn’t a subject worth mention The woman who loved reality knows how to code And she won’t give you her public key The woman who loved reality Knows that no one loves her And past collected data suggest that no one will But she’s got a lot of friends and there’s just so much to explore And so her calendar is filled And her life is mostly filled The woman who loved reality believes that honesty Is the only way to help two people sort out what to do The woman who loved reality can fix a sink And fix a drink and fix a router but she can’t fix you The woman who loved reality will be at Dragon*Con But she’s not planning to cosplay The woman who loved reality Still gets surprised when she’s reminded of how much time has passed, and she knows that the Paradox of infinity and finality Means we’ve got to make everything we’ve got last Before it disappears forever, we’ve got to make it last The world exactly as it is is all the world we've got And everything is interesting The whole world is just so interesting And life's so short to understand it, Life's so short to understand it. This was a story about a woman who loved reality You might know her.
8.
Meredith had the upstairs room She didn’t have a bed Laura was across the way Elizabeth was downstairs on the couch There was an office space but None of them had ever had an office Tanya took the office space For fifty dollars off her rent And she hung Christmas lights And Laura saved for her operation And Meredith wrote songs And Elizabeth waited for Michael to call And told herself she wouldn’t call him first Meredith rode the bus for hours To play her songs at bars Laura answered phones all day Elizabeth was stuck behind a counter Tanya kept the kitchen clean And spent her morning sending resumes She still hoped that she could find A job that matched up with her dreams And they joined up each night And Laura told stories of harassment And Meredith packed CDs. And Elizabeth wondered why Michael had asked Her to move when he didn’t ever ask to see her They made it through week by week And somehow paid the rent and Waited for something to change They were so good at waiting They sat in t-shirts and shorts In the October moonlight Lit by a porch light and phones In the endless summer of adulthood When Tanya’s mother called the house She asked how things were going And if Tanya had yet thought To walk her resume door to door And why the landlord hadn’t fixed the broken screen or leaky faucet They paid so much in rent They shouldn’t let things like that go And Tanya agreed to avoid a fight And as soon as she hung up She cursed and then she cried. And Elizabeth came back from work and Tanya said “do you think your place would hire me too?” They made it through week by week And somehow paid the rent and Tried hard to make something change They were so good at trying They sat in t-shirts and jeans In the November moonlight Lit by their laptop screens In the endless summer of adulthood Michael had to be at work at 9 a.m. now He knew she knew that He knew she knew that And she knew she couldn’t stay he couldn’t sleep when she was lying next to him And because of that it felt Like every night she asked if she could come over for just an hour For just an hour But his only hour. And every weekend she asked him what they were going to do But it was his only break. Laura made it through eight hours With voices in her headset Telling her a list of failures She could never overcome Tanya didn’t get the job She thought she might go back to school Meredith’s father said he’d pay For her to give up and come home Elizabeth said to them all that night It isn’t that I want Michael to change He can do all the things he does I just need him to choose I just need him to choose I just need him to choose to include me. They made it through week by week And somehow paid the rent and Wondered why things hadn’t moved When they were so good at moving They sat in t-shirts and jeans In the December moonlight Lit by their fading dreams In the endless summer of adulthood
9.
It’s morning so you check the world You read your messages and see The way that you are going to shape The way today is going to be There’s so much work that can be done And you’ll take everything you have And pay it forward And pay it forward You’re running faster than the burn You’re throwing money in your way You’re hoping you can fund tomorrow If you work all night today You turn your dream into a plan And you’ll give everything you have To pay it forward And pay it forward To build a watch requires time To build a song requires hope That you can manage all the pieces And not lose track of the scope There’s so much work that must be done But you’ve got people on your side Who pay it forward And pay it forward You don’t want to let them down Because they’re carrying you They’re carrying you And every day you tell your story So they can see what you are doing for love You hold responsibility for So much love So much love You carry the banner now for Doing what you love There’s too much meaning there You maybe trust what falls apart Or back a project that will fail Not everything you’ve kicked will start And sometimes dreams can get derailed But every day’s another day And you’ll take everything you have And pay it forward And pay it forward It’s morning so you check the world
10.
I know love isn’t real It’s just the oxytocin we produce To help us get close and reproduce Which I don’t want to do right now, but thanks And you can’t trust what you feel Because our neurons can be manipulated As science has repeatedly demonstrated Which kind of throws into doubt the whole veracity of our personal thoughts and opinions, but I know that when we signed up for the skeptic frame of mind It meant we had to look at everything from rational perspectives And I know that all the research says that everything behind this Has less to do with me and you than with a species-based short-term objective And I know you and I are on the side of the scientists But scientists fall in love too Even though they know it isn’t strictly true So: I’ll love you till the heat death of the Universe; until the galaxies collide In four billion years or Till we fall into the sea Which could be next week I’ll love you till my loop becomes estranged Until my mind becomes deranged And when it does just put us out of our misery, please. I know love really means I like your genes So take them off I know love really means I like your genes So take them off I know love isn’t real It’s just a biological imperative That we construct into a narrative Which you do so freaking well, by the way And you can’t trust what you feel Because inputs come and rearrange our stasis And yes, people change But change is inevitable. I know that when we signed up for the skeptic frame of mind It meant we had to say goodbye to paradise and ever after And I know that all the research says that you and I will find the way To hurt each other like we never dreamed we’d do And I know you and I are on the side of the scientists But scientists fall in love too Even though they know it isn’t strictly true So: I’ll love you till the heat death of the Universe; until the galaxies collide In four billion years or Till we fall into the sea Which could be next week I’ll love you till my loop becomes estranged Until my mind becomes deranged And when it does just put us out of our misery, please. I know love really means I like your genes So take them off I know love really means I like your genes So take them off I’m so glad that I got to know your brain In this segment of infinity before we die And I hope you feel the same and won’t complain That we won’t get to be with each other on a non-existent other side And I wrote this love song for you, to explain Every day I don’t tell you I love you is a lie. Even though I know love isn’t real It’s just an evolutionary tendency That we’ve converted into a trancendency But hey, I’m so f**king transcendent for you And you can’t trust what you feel And yet people somehow last it out With the people they cannot live without So I’m playing the long game, darling And I know that when we signed up for the skeptic frame of mind It meant we had to trust reality was better than our dreams And we both know all the research but with you and me combined We’ll face whatever the world can bring us and I’m glad you’re on my team And I know you and I are on the side of the scientists But scientists fall in love too Even though they know it isn’t strictly true So: I’ll love you till the heat death of the Universe; until the galaxies collide In four billion years or Till we fall into the sea Which could be next week I’ll love you till my loop becomes estranged Until my mind becomes deranged And when it does just put us out of our misery, please. I know it makes you sad That we won’t be there When it ends I know it makes you sad That we won’t be there To see it end And I know that if I could I would stand hand in hand with you Until everything became still Which it will

credits

released June 25, 2013

Music and lyrics written by Nicole Dieker of Hello, The Future!
Arrangements written and performed by The Long Holidays.
Recorded by John Axtell at Sunburst Recording.
Mixed at The Signalhouse, LA.
Mastered by Mustin for Mustin Enterprises, LLC.
Album art by Jade Gordon.

The Long Holidays are:

Jim Holmquist – guitar
Andrew Worshill – bass
Kevin Engelking – piano
Shaun Garnie – trumpet
John Higgins – drums, percussion, theremin

The Long Holidays would like to thank Jenny, Andrea, Stephanie, and Anthony. Nicole would like to thank Kickstarter and all of her project backers. This is for you. <3

hello-the-future.net
thelongholidays.com
sunburstrecording.com
signalhouserecording.com
mustin.net
jadegordon.com

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Hello, The Future! Seattle, Washington

My name is Nicole.

My band is Hello, The Future!

I am the only person in my band.

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