Infinity Right Now

by Hello, The Future!

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credits

released 04 November 2010
Pixel art by Mario Panighetti.

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Track Name: T-Rex Has Feelings
T-Rex has feelings
Though you may think he’s a dinosaur
T-Rex has feelings
And he wants the world to listen to him as he says
“Listen to me!”

T-Rex is just standing there
Let’s get in closer to see what he has to say
He’s going to crush that house
But Dromeciomimus gets in his way.
Then Utahraptor stops by
Utahraptor says hi
(Did that person die?)
Now T-Rex is all alone
T-Rex is all alone
T-Rex is all alone
What is T-Rex going to do?

‘Cause T-Rex has feelings
Though he acts just like an animal
T-Rex has feelings
And he wants the world to listen to him as he says
“Listen to me!”

T-Rex doesn’t like to be all alone
He likes to think of more awesome things instead
Like what if he were made up of jillions of robots
And each of the robots had a robot head?
Would the thoughts of the robots be T-Rex’s thoughts
Or the thoughts of the robots?

It’s thoughts like these that help T-Rex forget about his feelings
Unless of course it’s the robots who are thinking the thoughts
Otherwise he’d just want to stomp around and crush things
And tell Dromeciomimus that she’s really hot
And they should test out second base and then go get a corn dog
He hopes she likes corn dogs.

(Why wouldn’t anyone not like corn dogs?)

Yes, T-Rex has feelings
And sometimes they’re confusing
But T-Rex has feelings
And he wants Dromeciomimus to know that he thinks
She’s kinda hot!

T-Rex is just standing there
Turns out that corn dog plan didn’t work out so great
He asked Dromeciomimus
And she said she didn’t think that they should date.

So he asked Utahraptor what to say
And how he could go on feeling this way
When he had to see Dromeciomimus every day?

And Utahraptor said

Maybe if you hide away your feelings you’ll be able to get by.
Maybe if you hide away my feelings you’ll be able to get by.
And T-Rex said
Maybe if I hide away my feelings I’ll be able to get by.

And that’s why

T-Rex has feelings
But he acts just like an animal
T-Rex has feelings
And he wants this girl to listen to him as he says
“Listen to me!”

Yes, T-Rex has feelings
Though you may think he’s a dinosaur
T-Rex has feelings
And he wants the world to listen to him as he says
“Listen to me!”
Track Name: Questionable Content Girl
I wish I were a Questionable Content girl
‘Cause then I would be pretty
I wish I were a Questionable Content girl
‘Cause then I would be hanging out with
Marigold and Hanners as they played games in her room
Then we’d go and take a break at Coffee of Doom
Where Faye would draw a skull and crossbones
Floating in my cappuccino foam
And if I were a Questionable Content girl
I’d be home

I wish I were a Questionable Content girl
‘Cause then I’d have a boyfriend
I’d have a lot of quirky little mishaps first
But then I’d have a boyfriend who would
Jam with me on bass guitar and then go fight the Horde
I’d be the better player but he’d have the bigger sword
He wouldn’t waste his energies
Trying to make me something that I’m not
‘Cause if I were a Questionable Content girl
I’d be hot

I’d fit right in
I’m not that hard to draw
I wouldn’t take up space
My storyline
Would be how I could Roomba-sit
For the Roombas at Faye and Marten and Dora’s place

When they got home
I’d have the house so clean
Even Hanners would be scared
Make sure you draw me
With bigger hair… please…

And if I were a Questionable Content girl
I guess I’d have a robot – wow –
That’s even more exciting than the boyfriend thing
If I could have a robot who would
Help me make decisions like which science we should try
The one that might destroy the world, or the one that makes a pie
And afterwards we’d eat the pie and my robot friend would autoclave the plate
And if I were a Questionable Content girl
That’d be great

Yes, I wish I were a Questionable Content girl
‘Cause then I would be pretty and
I’d get to live in Questionable Content world
Where people can take lunch trays and go
Sledding down a giant hill and never miss the curve
Where top hats can appear at will and "science" is a verb
Where birds can talk and bands can rock and parties go for days before they’re through
I wish I lived in Questionable Content world
Don’t you?
Don’t you?

Don’t forget about the bigger hair please
Track Name: Monkeys and Robots
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots

Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots

Monkeys and robots and monkeys and science
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and science
Science and monkeys and robots and science
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots

Monkeys and robots and monkeys and Mathnet
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and Mathnet
Monkeys learn math while the robots learn science
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots

Monkeys and robots and monkeys and fractals
Robots and monkeys and robots and neutrons
Monkeys with pencils make pieces of fractals
Robots build thumbs and play marbles with neutrons

One of the marbles hits one of the monkeys
He takes his pencil and punches the neutron
And then he explodes just like all of the fractals
And the monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots

Pieces of monkeys with pieces of robots
Pieces of monkeys with pieces of robots
Mathnet’s still playing, but nobody’s watching
Not the pieces of monkeys or pieces of robots

One little opposable thumb crawls by
It picks up one tiny robot eye

Robots and robots rebuild all the robots
Robots and robots rebuild all the monkeys
Isn’t it nice that they rebuilt the monkeys?
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots

Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots
Monkeys and robots and monkeys and robots
Track Name: Sidekick
Do you want to be my sidekick
We could have some fun
Come on won’t you be my sidekick
I wouldn’t take just anyone

And I hope that you say
That you’ll come with me adventuring
I’ll save the world and you’ll save the day
‘Cause I love you

If you were my little sidekick
We could have some fun
In the morning I’d make you omelette
And then you’d help me get work done

You see, I’m kind of a mess
Unless you’re there to galvanize me
Don’t know why; I guess it’s
Cause I love you

And I know
You love me too
I know
You love me too

Do you want to be my sidekick?
We could have some fun
Come on won’t you be my sidekick
I like you the best of everyone

And as soon as you say
That you’ll come with me adventuring
You’ll pack the bags, I’ll take you away
‘Cause I love you
Track Name: Really Awesome Johns
This is a song about a group of people
Who share more than a name
John Flansburgh, John Linnell, Jon Stewart
John Hodgman, Jonathan Coulton, and they
All work together
And it really is a shame
That if you want to be a geek superstar you’ve got to have a name
Like John.

Or maybe know a John
Who helps you meet a John
Who does a show with a Jon.
I could go on and on
There’s this chart that I’ve drawn
But I’m really here to say

I wish my name was John and I was fifty years old
‘Cause if my name were John and I were fifty years old
I’d get to be there
In that apartment
Up in Brooklyn, playing Scrabble with those
Really Awesome Johns.

They’re a League of Extraordinary Jontlemen
And I know it isn’t fair
That they exist, and I’m not them, and I’m not part of their
Little circle of Johns
Connective tissue of Johns
Collaboration of Johns
Dissemination of Johns
It’s like they’re all intertwined
It’s like they’re sharing a mind
Why don’t they share that mind with me?

I wish my name was John and I was fifty years old
‘Cause if my name were John and I were fifty years old
I’d get to be there
In that apartment
Up in Brooklyn, playing Scrabble with those
Really Awesome Johns.

Yeah, I have a PC
Heck yeah I have a PC
I don’t even know the name of the guy who played the Mac

But the coolest thing about John Hodgman
Besides getting to be John Hodgman
Is John Hodgman gets to hang out
With awesome Ira Glass yeah!
Awesome Ira Glass!

With just my rhythm guitar, I’m like a John without a John
Unsupervised, I need an accordion

(Awesome Ira Glass)

If I could be one of the Johns, if only for a day
I’d jump into the circle of Johns and John it all the way
I would rock with the Johns
Or write a book with John
Or troubadour with Jonathan
Or do shows with Jon, and then
We’d all get along
Maybe we’d write a new song
And the chorus part would say…
Hey...

I’m glad my name is John
And I am fifty years old
‘Cause if my name weren’t John
And I weren’t fifty years old
I wouldn’t be here
In this apartment
Up in Brooklyn, playing Scrabble with those
Really awesome
Other men named John

Wait, did you even know this?
I mean, did you even know this?
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Was written by Johns Flansburgh and Linnell for Jon Stewart
Dang!
Track Name: Infinity Right Now
This whole internet will just go on forever
Or it won’t
There’s either extraterrestrial life on other planets
Or there isn’t
We either go extinct as a species
Or we don’t
But you and I both know
That there’s one thing that we’ll always know is true

Before I sang this song there was time and time and time and time again
And when it’s done time will go on
And even after all the songs are done and all the singers gone
Time will keep going on

And when our clocks all stop there’ll be time and time and time and time again
Same as it was before time began
And no matter where you hope to spend the day after you meet the end
You’re still be part of the larger mathematical plan

We’re standing in infinity right now
In the middle of infinity right now
We don’t know what came before, and we can’t see the other shore
But we’re walking towards infinity forever and ever and ever.

We know that even all the little things that end
Add up to endless
We know that nothing is created or destroyed; only changed
We know that everything that fills our minds and breath
With our aliveness
Is only passing through
Before its atoms shift and rearrange

And I will tell you now
That all this all this used to frighten me
When I was a child it made me cry
Until I realized that what was here was also what was there
The matter changes, but it’s the same on either side

And even if we all go out like switches blinking in the night
What meets us afterwards’s the same
As what would meet us if we stood by God’s right hand in Heaven’s light
It’s still eternity, just with a different name

And we’re standing in infinity right now
In the middle of infinity right now
We don’t know what came before, and we can’t see the other shore
But we’re walking towards infinity forever and ever and ever.

Either way our memories degrade
And something else comes in to take their place
Something we can’t remember, though we were there when it was made
And sad as it makes me to know I’ll never see your face again
I know that where we’re going is as safe as where we’ve been

We’re standing in infinity right now
In the middle of infinity right now
We don’t know what came before, and we can’t see the other shore
But we’re walking towards infinity forever and ever and ever.

We’re standing in infinity right now
This very moment is infinity right now
We can stretch our arms out wide but we can’t reach the other side
And we’re walking towards infinity forever and ever and ever.
Track Name: Dear Paul and Storm
Dear Paul and Storm
I’d like to play at your w00tstock
When you have a w00tstock
At the place where I live
(I live where you live!)

Every week I sit on my kitchen table
And make a new song for the internet
I think you know how that goes.

And I think your audience would get the
References I make and they would
Thank you for inviting me when
I started to sing about how
T-Rex has feelings!

Dear Paul and Storm
Maybe maybe please you'd let me play at your w00tstock
I know this isn't the best way to ask
But it never hurts to ask
And maybe you'll hear my song while I'm asking!

I’m kinda cute, and I know all the nerd stuff
And I sing about the nerd stuff
Just like everyone else, I guess

And I’m another girl
And I know you want another girl
And I’m a local musician, and that’s also cool!
And I write songs about comics, like how
T-Rex has feelings
And if you don’t know what that is
Ask your Twitter friends to tell you
Or just click on this link:
Hello hyphen the hyphen future dot net
Forward slash question mark p equals 125!

And dear the other two guys
Who aren’t Paul and Storm
Maybe you would let me be in a w00tstock
I’ve played other shows before. People have come. Seriously.
You should listen to my archive
And my hour-long webconcert
And become familiar with my oeuvre.

And I don’t need special setup
And I don’t need to get paid
And I’d even work the t-shirt-stand after it was all over
And buy you a beer, or three, or nine
You really should choose me
...please.

You should maybe please choose me
‘Cause I wants w00tstock to listen to me
As I sing:
"Listen to me!"
Track Name: Giant Robot Song
Back in summer camp
On the first day they sat us in the picnic yard
And they told us that fine arts camp was very hard
And that all of us would have to practice very hard

And they told us if we wanted to get work someday
We couldn’t play our pop music or draw anime
Because those things weren’t important in the real world
You know that fine arts camp is all about the real world

And I’ll never forget
They took this one kid’s drawing of a giant robot
And they told him to stop wasting his time
Get in line
Focus on perspective
So we practiced hard, and yet
We met in secret to perform the Final Fantasy opera
We knew they’d say that we were wasting our time

Then in undergrad
In our classes they told us what was good and bad
It was good if it had meaning and was serious
And nothing good had been produced that wasn’t serious

And they said that every time we made a song or play
There should be some deeper meaning as a takeaway
So the audience would get up and go stop the war
Or decide that social justice was worth fighting for

And I’ll never forget
The way they denigrated anything reflecting pop culture
How they said it was a waste of our time; we should
Get in line
And focus on perspective
But they didn’t seem to get
That to make meaning first you have to go and make a connection
Otherwise you’ll just be wasting your time

I’m not even going to make the old argument
About Mozart being part of pop culture
Or Dickens being part of pop culture
Or Shakespeare being part of pop culture

And how it all kinda changed with the friggin’ Rite of Spring
And the subsequent decision that art was a very very very very serious thing
And it wasn’t for everyone
It was cultural broccoli
(You know I actually kinda really like broccoli)

Then in graduate school
When I said in class the internet had changed the rules
That the new artistic culture was the internet
And that people who made art should use the internet

With Web 2.0
It took the job that theater started all those years ago
And gave us ways to make connections with an audience
There were so many ways for us to reach an audience

And I’ll never forget
They told me serious performers didn’t use the internet
And they told me to stop wasting class time
Get in line
Focus on perspective
And my assignment for next class
Was to restage a Restoration play in 1960
And I knew that I was wasting my time

We should have been making things from the start
We didn’t have to stop drawing those giant robots
We should be using all our time
To connect the lines
And focus on creation
And sure, not all of it will be art
But the important thing is to make a connection
And that means you won’t be wasting your time

So here’s to the kid who got his giant robot drawing torn up on the first day of fine arts camp.
I hope you kept drawing.
Track Name: Secret Bonus Track
Secret bonus track!
Bonus just for you!
Because you bought the album, here's your
Secret bonus track!

Now we'll be best friends!
Follow me on Twitter!
@HelloTheFuture,
Mention "secret bonus track"
And I'll follow you!

I like a secret bonus track
It's like getting something for free (except it isn't)
I like a bonus track on an album
Especially when it's by someone who I think is freaking sweet!

Secret bonus track!
Bonus just for you!
Because you bought the album, here's your
Secret bonus track!

Now we'll be best friends!
Follow me on Twitter!
@HelloTheFuture,
Mention "secret bonus track"
And I'll follow you!